Why do I call death cleaning “sweet-ish?” Because to me it has been that. As I evaluate all we own and consider what can be given away or sold, I’ve contemplated it through my experience with the Pollyanna* Principle. Let me digress a bit to explain where I’m coming from.
Decades
ago, after my sister Carolyn and I buried our parents and death cleaned for
them, I took a trip to Israel to visit her, toting along some of the treasures
she wished to have from our childhood home. Carolyn thrilled, showing me the
land and introducing me to friends-like-family. All went well until we left
Eilat (southernmost tip of Israel) for Jerusalem, and the car broke down.
Stuck!
It was May. It was hot.
There
we were in the desert wondering how long we’d be stranded. We had some water
and snacks and managed to shield each other for “privacy purposes,” seeing we
were nowhere near a facility.
A
carload of passers stopped to help us—one gentleman sucking gas from the fuel
pump, thinking that might solve our problem. He accidently swallowed a bit of
gasoline and let loose an impressive belch! This remedy, however, didn’t help—the
sucking or the sound effects!
While
we awaited a tow truck and night fell, I exclaimed, “Well, it could be a lot
worse. After all, we’ve got some supplies, we have a great view of the sky, and
Israel isn’t presently being bombed from the east, and…”
“Okay,
Pollyanna!” Carolyn exclaimed.
From
that time on, whenever I’d say something like, “Well, it could be worse,” etc. my
sister and later (after hearing the story) my husband would say, “Okay,
Pollyanna!”
Although
I do despair at times, mostly I’m an upbeat person—perhaps a Pollyanna wannabe.
So, the idea of death cleaning made me consider these points:
1) Getting rid of things we don’t need can give joy to
others.
2) Removing clutter or unneeded
items frees us from things, which are temporal.
3) Giving and receiving both result in blessing—for
the giver and the receiver.
4) It’s helpful to repurpose our belongings and give
them a use beyond us.
5) It simplifies life for either downsizing,
senior-living, or grave-prep.
6) It saves on our children or whoever may be responsible for caring for our estates when we’re gone or become unable to do so.
Okay,
Pollyanna!
“You
can’t take it with you when you go!” If I keep the temporal-ness of things in
mind, they become less important to hold so tightly. Are my things so important
they own me? If so, my sights might be on the wrong plain.
When I
leave this world, I’ll hopefully go with as much done as possible in regard to items
I own (or own me, if that’s the case). I’m really not much attached to things,
to be honest.
Here’s
something I’ve started: A list of my children, their spouses, grandchildren,
and friends whom I wish to memory-gift with an item I consider precious. I’ll
not only write what the item is but will leave a note about its history along
with a clear explanation where it’s located (if I don’t “croak” before completing
this goal).
Now,
here’s where I need to mention what most of us already know. Our kids don’t
want our stuff. In many if not most cases, this is true. Because of that, Brian
and I are leaving only items “no bigger than a breadbox” for each because the
now-generations don’t generally want the kind of “stuff” we have. There may be
exceptions to this rule but mostly your things—as precious as they are to
you—don’t matter as much to those whom you wish they mattered to.
One
thing you might do—take your family member for a walk through your home and ask
that person if there’s something they’d like to have when you’re gone. If he/she
says yes and shows you, write that down. If you’ve already promised it to
someone else or have in your mind it’ll go to so-n-so, well then, better tell
the person that particular item’s already spoken for. Another idea is to go
ahead and gift special items to the people you wish to own them while you’re still
living.
Now,
what about the first step in the nitty-gritty of death cleaning? You may be
overwhelmed and question, “Where do I even begin?” In The Swedish Art of
Death Cleaning, author Margareta Magnusson suggests getting rid of the
largest items first. By doing this, you’ll see an immediate difference and ray
of hope for moving forward. (You might need to enlist help if you’re bodily not
able to do this part.)
We
recently unloaded 6 large items from our home. We also have a clue what additional
furniture we don’t need in the event we move into senior-apartment living
rather than the grave first. And several carloads of boxed items have already been
donated to our local thrift store.
Now,
this may sound contrary to all we’ve done so far, but we used the money from
the sold items to buy “old-age-friendly” ones. Yes, we added things that
make life simpler now as well as will benefit when we grow older, but we
added less than we removed.
Next,
list more items in your home you’ve considered living without in the near
future. At the top of your sheet of paper (or computer file), put the name of
the item then 3 columns labeled YES, NO, and MAYBE. As you make your list, some
things you’ll check off as YES or NO right away.
My
advice on the MAYBEs? Store them away (not buried too deeply though) and
revisit them at a later time. If they’re still MAYBEs after some time, keep
them until you’re absolutely certain so you have no regrets. If you’ve not
missed them when put away, you likely needn’t hold onto those longer. Your
call!
For
tackling all items in a home without becoming overwhelmed, try using the
Mount Vernon method, introduced to me in another book I read decades ago about
organizing a home. At Washington’s historic home the people who clean start at
the front door and move through the home in a logical sequence until the entire
place is cleaned.
You
can practice this same principle in death-cleaning. Don’t worry about how long
it takes you to “travel” through your entire home. Some people will handle this
quicker than others. No worries if you aren’t thorough the first time. You can
always Mount Vernon-ize again for simplifying/minimalizing.
This
blog post series on “sweet-ish” death cleaning may seem contrary to the overall
theme of my blog—Hope! I would argue it’s quite the opposite. If you’re
a believer in Jesus as Lord and Savior and you decide to death clean, you’re
exercising the Hope Who’s within you. You’re showing eternity holds more value
than the here and now. And you’re making more time to spend with the Lord while
you wait because you’ve lessened what requires care or burdens you.
Let me
close this Part 2 by telling you that death cleaning has been an enjoyable
process for me, it’s given me great joy, it’s brought back so many special
memories, and it’s reminded me of all God has blessed us with over the years.
“Okay,
Pollyanna!”
You Can’t Take It with You When You Go
*main character in a 1913 novel & later in a
movie who, despite all the hardships she faced, maintained a cheerful,
optimistic attitude
Photo Credit: noredos.com
Great post!
ReplyDeleteThank you...and thanks for taking the time to read it.
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