Trusting Jesus ~ Part 1 ~ A Lot of Tatting & an Easter Ham

          I was a woman on a mission! Goal: Create about 200 tatted items, then sell those to raise funds toward a mobility scooter as I couldn’t keep my oxygen at a safe level while walking distances. Surely this is something God wants me to own. And that’s how I prayed, telling God how much I needed the scooter and only seeking His counsel on which model.

          With my long blunt needle in hand and multiple thread colors at arm’s length, I tatted every spare moment for weeks. Months actually. 

          Between projects I chatted via Facebook with my friend, Marion. We’d met decades ago while serving in a church’s deaf ministry. She’s my go-to for sign language questions, sharing about our days, asking advice, talking crafts (her being a skilled crocheter), and exchanging prayer needs and praises. So, I told Marion about my interest in a mobility scooter, sent her a couple pictures of ones that interested me, and asked her to pray with me about this.

          “Are you going to sell some of your tatted items to raise the funds?” she asked.

          “That’s the plan. I did really well when I did so in the past.”

          “Let me know how you’re progressing, and I’ll be praying,” she said as she often did when encouraging me onward.

          So, from time to time I sent her messages like—“10 ornaments done…5 hearts today…wonder if I should make crosses this year…new pattern driving me crazy…30 bookmarks done—yikes…” etc.

          When all the items were ready to sell—starched, ironed, and bagged to go—I looked forward to seeing how successfully this venture played out. I prayed, “Lord if it’s Your Will, please help me raise a lot for this need.”

          I fully expected God to answer my prayer with good sales. After all, when I tatted items to raise money for a couple other causes in the past, those sales went very well.

          I did sell quite a few items although not as many as before.

          But then something happened.

          As I tucked the money into an envelope marked “Scooter,” the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, and I began to question if the scooter was God’s Will or mine.

          I admit. I pushed that thought aside for several weeks.

          Then we learned a dear widower friend, Mr. Bishop*, and his son had to make a much-needed medical trip out of state. The costs they faced were astronomical. Here was a life and death situation…

          …and I wanted a scooter? Seriously?

          Again, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. He even woke me in the night with a burden for this great need our friend had.

          I got up, went to my desk and put on a low light so I wouldn’t awaken anyone else, took out the “Scooter” envelope and counted the money. In tears I laid out the bills and told God, “It’s Yours for the medical trip.”

          Immediately I felt a peace.

          In the morning, I went to my husband. “What do you think about giving the tatting money to Mr. Bishop and his son? Their need is so much greater than mine.”

          Brian answered, “Whatever you want to do with it is fine.”

          That same day I handed the money to Mr. Bishop. Oh, it really wasn’t much dollar-wise, but what joy to be able to give it! And once I accepted God’s Will for the use of the money, some unexpected orders for tatted items came in, so I was able to give them more.

          But the story doesn’t end here.

          I’m sorry to say that a few weeks later I wrestled with the decision I’d made. I really could’ve used that scooter—at least in the future. If only I hadn’t given the money away.

          I’m also sorry to say this thought lingered with me longer than I wish to admit.

          Shame on me! I wept again—this time over my guilt. Yes, grieving the Holy Spirit—for I’d acknowledge God’s Will in the giving of the money but then “grabbed it back” within my heart. Now my tears flowed for a different reason—knowing I needed forgiveness, and God forgave me.

          I happened to be chatting with Marion the day after this and brought her up to date on the scooter saga.

          She asked, “Do you have complete peace about the decision you’ve made?”

          “Yes, I do.” I then went on to tell her about wrestling with the Lord—about my guilt and how I sought God’s forgiveness for my selfishness.

          “And now you’ve made it right with the Lord,” Marion said.

          “Yes.”

          “That reminds me of the Easter ham I gave your family years ago.”

          What? I quickly dug through the files of my brain to remember what she was talking about. Dig, dig, dig. Oh yeah. There it is. File: Easter Ham.

          Marion continued, “I did the same thing. I wrestled with my decision too.”

          Reader, here’s where I turn this over to my friend for the telling. She’s graciously consented to do so.

          Okay, Marion! You’re turn!

The Day I Argued with God 

          On a day many years ago, I was eating breakfast like I do most every day. As I was enjoying my cereal, I looked down and saw a tiny worm.  Yuck!  (After researching it years later, I now know it was most likely an Indian meal moth larvae.) 

          A little back story.  My husband had recently taken a huge pay cut.  I was trying my best to be frugal.  I used coupons that were sometimes doubled or tripled at the local supermarket.  I shopped the sales and saved a lot of money.  The problem was I didn’t buy only what we needed. I hoarded an insane amount of dry goods.

          Well, the morning I found the worm, God spoke to me very clearly.  He told me to pack up all the extra food and give it to my friend, Sarah.  As I was bagging the food from my pantry, God told me to give her the ham in my freezer.  I had purchased it for Easter which was just a few weeks away.  I told Him, “Not the ham.”

          I continued to gather the groceries, and He continued to gently whisper for me to include the ham.  I repeatedly told Him no.  The chest freezer was just inside my pantry, so I saw it each time I was getting food to send with Sarah. 

           “Not the ham, Lord.” 

          “Give her the ham.” 

          Back and forth we went.  Meanwhile, I called Sarah and told her I had some food for her family.  She agreed to come to my house to pick everything up.

          I finally, but begrudgingly, gave in and grabbed the ham. 

          Sarah arrived and we talked for a few minutes.  She told me her husband had paid their bills and only had a few dollars left for food.  She said her family prayed that morning for God to provide.  And he did (through me in spite of my selfishness). 

          She was SO thankful they now had a ham for Easter. 

          My sister invited us over for Easter dinner.  We didn’t need the ham.

          I learned a valuable lesson that day from my dear friend, Sarah, and what it means to trust God to provide.  She also taught me how important faith is, even if it’s surrendering a ham.

 

Matthew 6: 25, 26

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;

or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body

more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away

in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not more valuable than they?”

Matthew 6:33-31

“Seek His kingdom first and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you

as well.  Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

 

—Marion

 

          So, you see, Reader, I wasn’t alone in my feelings, failure, and reconciliation. Maybe you’ve found yourself in a situation like this also. If so, know that God loves a cheerful giver, forgives one who’s not, and restores the joy.

          In PART TWO (next blog post) I’ll tell you a similar account—one I share with famed missionary to China, Hudson Taylor.

          Really?

          Yes, really!

I Can Trust Jesus

The Collingsworth Family

 

 

#tatting #ham #Easter #trustingJesus #giving #regretting #forgiveness #joy

 

*name changed

 

Photo Credit: tatted items, Hampshires

                      ham, istockphoto.com

                      Marion, used with permission