Marriage, Wounds, & Scars

             Dad, Mom, my sister, and I couldn’t’ve been more thrilled, returning to Madison Square Garden for another Billy Graham Crusade!

            Rev. Graham’s message addressed a broken world and need for the Savior. Profoundly simple. All his messages were because the good news of the Gospel was easy to understand—Jesus Christ coming to earth, dying on the cross, and resurrecting from the dead to clean sinners’ hearts and open Heaven for all who sought Him.

            At the close of that evening, a song filled “the Garden.” As masses of people sang Just as I am, folks of all ages left their seats and headed down the steps to the floor level to be counseled and led to the Savior.

Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me,

And that thou bidd’st me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come…

Just as I am, and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot.

To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come…

Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt,

Fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come…

Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;

Because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come. I come.

(Charlotte Elliott, 1835, Public Domain)

            I didn’t go down those steps. Didn’t need to. The matter of my heart was already settled as was the assurance I belonged to Jesus. That, too, before this night in the Garden. So, I used those moments to pray for those who needed to find the Savior.

            Unbeknownst to me, one hundred miles to the north a twelve-year-old boy watched the same Crusade on TV. While I was praying in New York City, he opened his heart to Jesus.

He, too, wrestled with matters of the heart in the years to come before realizing—although he’d made Jesus Savior—he hadn’t made Him Lord. When Brian surrendered, God led him to a special ministry, working with disabled kids and teens—where I had arrived the previous year.

We im met, fell in love, married, and lived happily ever after.

Nope. Not even close.

            Ours may have been a “marriage made in Heaven,” but we were living in a broken world where so much of the “unheavenly” seeped in. We were both missionaries serving the Lord. Yet, even that sometimes brought struggles by what we’d been taught—God first, husband next, family last. (In my next blog post, I’ll share how we were “reprogrammed.”) But being sold out for God left us too exhausted for the rest.

            Child #1 came along. Then twins.

Brian ministered away from home many hours, and I was spent. But we were doing what we should be. Right? Our mission board at that time relocated us to New York City. Life was not easier but better for us there, yet we still struggled as we followed “our teaching.”

            Another child arrived.

            By this time, we just couldn’t function anymore. Through prayer and counseling, we realized it was time to make major changes. We signed on with a more family-friendly mission board and made our way to another part of the country.

            Before we left, though, we rededicated our marriage to God in a mini-ceremony with our pastor and his wife.

            A fresh start! That had to be good. It was in many ways, and we grew together through trying times when we had little to go on. But our hearts were in the right place—our love for each other redirected properly.

            We continued to serve God with all our hearts and did our best to raise a family for Him, but life would turn on us more than a time or two—testing our marriage to the core. All that happened should’ve broken us. Crushed really. We were wounded, damaged, depressed.

            In time, those wounds healed.

            The scars, though, don’t go away. They never will.

            But God can use scars. Look at the nail prints in Jesus’ Hands!

            Scars carry a message and, yes, even Hope. They’re also grand “authenticators” to others who hurt—those who’ll listen to us because we’ve “been there.”

            So this scarred husband and wife march on, praying we remain faithful to God and each other.

            Are you scarred? Do your scars help you give “authentic” comfort to others who need to know God will bring them through the same hurts you’ve endured? I pray you find value in the hardships that caused those and have the courage to reach others because of them.

            But maybe you’re still too wounded. May I encourage you to take needful steps—prayer, Bible reading, even godly counseling—to aid in healing. For some this takes less time than for others. (It took us a great many years.) That’s okay.

            Rest in Him, let Him be Your Balm. and trust He knows what He’s doing because—remember—He went through horrific wounding and bears the scars.

            There’s no one more Authentic than Jesus Christ—the Great Healer and Counselor!

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