TRUSTING JESUS ~ Part 2 ~ Hudson Taylor and I

          Decades ago, while my husband and I served as missionaries in southeastern Kentucky, this account took place:

          Brian handed me a $20 bill. “Here. Use this for groceries. You can stop at the store after your doctor’s appointment.”

          I took the money and tucked it in my pocket. “This isn’t gonna go far.”

          “I know, but it’s all we have left,” Brian said.

          Earlier that week we asked God to meet our need, but no extra love gifts arrived. This $20 was it.

          After my appointment, I walked through the waiting room glancing about, when my eyes fell upon a couple from our church.

          Eddie was a retired coalminer on disability due to chronic emphysema and on oxygen 24/7 and Janet, recovering from a recent stroke. 

          I stopped to chat with them a few minutes, then I excused myself and headed on my way to the grocery store.

          “Give Eddie and Janet the $20,” a still small voice whispered.

          I stopped dead in my tracks. “But Lord, we need food.” I continued to the car, got in, and started the engine.

          “Go back and give them the money.”

          What should I do? I folded my arms atop the steering wheel and laid my head against them. Here I was—unable to phone Brian (this being before we owned cell phones)—God saying one thing and my husband entrusting me with the $20 to buy groceries.

          After a couple minutes, I thought I’ll go to the store, get two $10 bills and give Eddie and Janet their $10. That’ll work! So, I shifted the car into reverse, checked my mirrors, and backed out.

          “Give them all of it.”

          I hit the brakes, pulled back into the parking space, not-very-gently put the car in park. “Lord, what am I supposed to feed our family for supper tonight?”

          He didn’t need to say more.

          I turned off the ignition, got out of the car, and returned to the doctor’s waiting room.  

          There they were, Eddie bent over some, trying to breathe. Janet saw me coming and looked surprised at my return.

          I walked up to them and took the $20 from my pocket. “This is for you.” I handed it to Janet and gave her a hug.

          “Oh my!” She turned toward her husband. “Hun, look! Answered prayer!”

          Eddie brightened and sent a smile my way. “Thank you kindly.”

          I headed out again and, on the way home, played over in my mind what I’d tell Brian. I felt like Jack returning home and announcing to his wife, “Don’t worry! I bought magic beans!”—except I didn’t even have beans!

          On the way home, I had a good cry before it sank in. This is a do-you-trust-Me moment. I dried my eyes. “God, supper’s on You.”

          I walked in the house, and there it was! His answer!

          Brian had opened the mail and laid it out for me to see—a love gift of $50. Tears flowed as I thanked the Lord then went to share the rest of the story with my husband.

          He, too, rejoiced. And we both realized God’s answer had been on the way long before we’d even asked Him! Indeed, we could trust God! He proved that over and over again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

         While recently reading Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret, I was taken aback by an account mentioned. Dr. J. Hudson Taylor lived in England during the 19^th century. This man of great faith gave his heart and soul to serve God in China. Before leaving for the foreign mission field, though, Hudson Taylor needed to learn about relying on God for his needs. He shared this:

          “…Sunday was a very happy one. After attending divine service in the morning, my afternoons and evenings were taken up with Gospel work…in the lowest part of the town…After concluding my last service…a poor man asked me to go and pray with his wife, saying that she was dying. I readily agreed (to go)…the family was starving. Immediately it occurred to my mind that all the money I had in the world was the solitary half-crown, and that it was in one coin…

         …there was at once a stoppage in the flow of joy in my heart…’Ah,’ thought I, ‘if only I had two shillings and a sixpence instead of this half-crown, how gladly would I give these poor people a shilling!’ But to part with the half-crown was far from my thoughts. I little dreamed that the truth of the matter simply was that I could trust God…but was not prepared to trust Him only, without any money at all in my pocket.”

          Hudson went on to explain the conditions he saw once he reached the poor man’s home—a wretchedly poor place, starving children, and desperately sick mother with a newborn moaning—unable to even cry.

          ‘Ah,’ thought I, ‘if I had two shillings and a sixpence, instead of a half-crown, how gladly should they have one-and-sixpence of it.’ But still a wretched unbelief prevented me from obeying the impulse to relieve their distress at the cost of all I possessed.

          …I was unable to say much to comfort these poor people…I began to tell them, however, that they must not be cast down; that though their circumstances were very distressing there was a kind and loving Father in heaven. But something within me cried, ‘You hypocrite! telling these unconverted people about a kind and loving Father in heaven, and not prepared yourself to trust Him without half-a-crown.’

          I nearly choked. How gladly would I have compromised with conscience, if I had had a florin and a sixpence! I would have given the florin thankfully and kept the rest. But I was not yet prepared to trust in God alone, without the six-pence.

          To talk was impossible under these circumstances, yet strange to say I thought I should have no difficulty in praying. Prayer was a delightful occupation…all I should have to do would be to kneel down and pray, and that relief would come to them and to myself together…I knelt down.

          But no sooner had I opened my lips with, ‘Our Father who art in heaven,’ than conscience said within, “Dare you mock God? Dare you kneel down and call Him ‘Father’ with that half-crown in your pocket?”

          Such a time of conflict then came upon me as I had never experienced before. How I got through that form of prayer I know not…But I arose from my knees in great distress of mind.

          The poor father turned to me and said, ‘You see what a terrible state we are in, sir. If you can help us…do!’

          At that moment the Word flashed into my mind, ‘Give to him that asketh of thee.’

          …I put my hand into my pocket and slowly drawing out the half-crown gave it to the man, telling him that it might seem a small matter for me to relieve them…but that in parting with that coin I was giving him my all; but that what I had been trying to tell them was indeed true, God really was a Father and might be trusted. And how the joy came back in full flood tide to my heart!

          …the poor woman’s life was saved…my life might have been a wreck—would have been, probably, as a Christian life—had not grace at that time conquered and the striving of God’s Spirit been obeyed.

          I well remember that night as I went home to my lodgings how my heart was as light as my pocket…

          Next morning…the landlady came in holding a letter…I looked at the letter, but could not make out the handwriting. …the postmark was blurred…I found nothing written within, but inside a sheet of blank paper was folded a pair of kid gloves from which, as I opened them in astonishment, half-a-sovereign fell to the ground.

          …I cannot tell you how often my mind has recurred to this incident, or all the help it has been to me in circumstances of difficulty.” *                                          –J. Hudson Taylor

Trusting Jesus

Simply trusting every day, trusting through a stormy way;

Even when my faith is small, trusting Jesus, that is all.

 

Refrain: Trusting as the moments fly, trusting as the days go by;

Trusting Him whate’er befall, trusting Jesus, that is all.

 

Brightly doth His Spirit shine into this poor heart of mine;

While He leads, I cannot fall; trusting Jesus, that is all. (Refrain)

 

…Trusting Him while life shall last, trusting Him till earth be past;

Till within the jasper wall, trusting Jesus, that is all. (Refrain)

 

(from the hymn Trusting Jesus by Edgar Page, 1876, public domain)

 

A movie about J. Hudson Taylor, missionary to China &

founder of the China Inland Mission (CIM):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSDJgDJToeo

 

#trustingJesus #God #praying #needs #JHudsonTaylor #missionary #China #answeredprayer #Godalwaysontime

*from Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret ~ Chapter 4 “Further Steps of Faith” by Dr. & Mrs. Howard Taylor

Photo Credit: biteproject.com

Trusting Jesus ~ Part 1 ~ A Lot of Tatting & an Easter Ham

          I was a woman on a mission! Goal: Create about 200 tatted items, then sell those to raise funds toward a mobility scooter as I couldn’t keep my oxygen at a safe level while walking distances. Surely this is something God wants me to own. And that’s how I prayed, telling God how much I needed the scooter and only seeking His counsel on which model.

          With my long blunt needle in hand and multiple thread colors at arm’s length, I tatted every spare moment for weeks. Months actually. 

          Between projects I chatted via Facebook with my friend, Marion. We’d met decades ago while serving in a church’s deaf ministry. She’s my go-to for sign language questions, sharing about our days, asking advice, talking crafts (her being a skilled crocheter), and exchanging prayer needs and praises. So, I told Marion about my interest in a mobility scooter, sent her a couple pictures of ones that interested me, and asked her to pray with me about this.

          “Are you going to sell some of your tatted items to raise the funds?” she asked.

          “That’s the plan. I did really well when I did so in the past.”

          “Let me know how you’re progressing, and I’ll be praying,” she said as she often did when encouraging me onward.

          So, from time to time I sent her messages like—“10 ornaments done…5 hearts today…wonder if I should make crosses this year…new pattern driving me crazy…30 bookmarks done—yikes…” etc.

          When all the items were ready to sell—starched, ironed, and bagged to go—I looked forward to seeing how successfully this venture played out. I prayed, “Lord if it’s Your Will, please help me raise a lot for this need.”

          I fully expected God to answer my prayer with good sales. After all, when I tatted items to raise money for a couple other causes in the past, those sales went very well.

          I did sell quite a few items although not as many as before.

          But then something happened.

          As I tucked the money into an envelope marked “Scooter,” the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, and I began to question if the scooter was God’s Will or mine.

          I admit. I pushed that thought aside for several weeks.

          Then we learned a dear widower friend, Mr. Bishop*, and his son had to make a much-needed medical trip out of state. The costs they faced were astronomical. Here was a life and death situation…

          …and I wanted a scooter? Seriously?

          Again, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. He even woke me in the night with a burden for this great need our friend had.

          I got up, went to my desk and put on a low light so I wouldn’t awaken anyone else, took out the “Scooter” envelope and counted the money. In tears I laid out the bills and told God, “It’s Yours for the medical trip.”

          Immediately I felt a peace.

          In the morning, I went to my husband. “What do you think about giving the tatting money to Mr. Bishop and his son? Their need is so much greater than mine.”

          Brian answered, “Whatever you want to do with it is fine.”

          That same day I handed the money to Mr. Bishop. Oh, it really wasn’t much dollar-wise, but what joy to be able to give it! And once I accepted God’s Will for the use of the money, some unexpected orders for tatted items came in, so I was able to give them more.

          But the story doesn’t end here.

          I’m sorry to say that a few weeks later I wrestled with the decision I’d made. I really could’ve used that scooter—at least in the future. If only I hadn’t given the money away.

          I’m also sorry to say this thought lingered with me longer than I wish to admit.

          Shame on me! I wept again—this time over my guilt. Yes, grieving the Holy Spirit—for I’d acknowledge God’s Will in the giving of the money but then “grabbed it back” within my heart. Now my tears flowed for a different reason—knowing I needed forgiveness, and God forgave me.

          I happened to be chatting with Marion the day after this and brought her up to date on the scooter saga.

          She asked, “Do you have complete peace about the decision you’ve made?”

          “Yes, I do.” I then went on to tell her about wrestling with the Lord—about my guilt and how I sought God’s forgiveness for my selfishness.

          “And now you’ve made it right with the Lord,” Marion said.

          “Yes.”

          “That reminds me of the Easter ham I gave your family years ago.”

          What? I quickly dug through the files of my brain to remember what she was talking about. Dig, dig, dig. Oh yeah. There it is. File: Easter Ham.

          Marion continued, “I did the same thing. I wrestled with my decision too.”

          Reader, here’s where I turn this over to my friend for the telling. She’s graciously consented to do so.

          Okay, Marion! You’re turn!

The Day I Argued with God 

          On a day many years ago, I was eating breakfast like I do most every day. As I was enjoying my cereal, I looked down and saw a tiny worm.  Yuck!  (After researching it years later, I now know it was most likely an Indian meal moth larvae.) 

          A little back story.  My husband had recently taken a huge pay cut.  I was trying my best to be frugal.  I used coupons that were sometimes doubled or tripled at the local supermarket.  I shopped the sales and saved a lot of money.  The problem was I didn’t buy only what we needed. I hoarded an insane amount of dry goods.

          Well, the morning I found the worm, God spoke to me very clearly.  He told me to pack up all the extra food and give it to my friend, Sarah.  As I was bagging the food from my pantry, God told me to give her the ham in my freezer.  I had purchased it for Easter which was just a few weeks away.  I told Him, “Not the ham.”

          I continued to gather the groceries, and He continued to gently whisper for me to include the ham.  I repeatedly told Him no.  The chest freezer was just inside my pantry, so I saw it each time I was getting food to send with Sarah. 

           “Not the ham, Lord.” 

          “Give her the ham.” 

          Back and forth we went.  Meanwhile, I called Sarah and told her I had some food for her family.  She agreed to come to my house to pick everything up.

          I finally, but begrudgingly, gave in and grabbed the ham. 

          Sarah arrived and we talked for a few minutes.  She told me her husband had paid their bills and only had a few dollars left for food.  She said her family prayed that morning for God to provide.  And he did (through me in spite of my selfishness). 

          She was SO thankful they now had a ham for Easter. 

          My sister invited us over for Easter dinner.  We didn’t need the ham.

          I learned a valuable lesson that day from my dear friend, Sarah, and what it means to trust God to provide.  She also taught me how important faith is, even if it’s surrendering a ham.

 

Matthew 6: 25, 26

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;

or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body

more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away

in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not more valuable than they?”

Matthew 6:33-31

“Seek His kingdom first and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you

as well.  Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

 

—Marion

 

          So, you see, Reader, I wasn’t alone in my feelings, failure, and reconciliation. Maybe you’ve found yourself in a situation like this also. If so, know that God loves a cheerful giver, forgives one who’s not, and restores the joy.

          In PART TWO (next blog post) I’ll tell you a similar account—one I share with famed missionary to China, Hudson Taylor.

          Really?

          Yes, really!

I Can Trust Jesus

The Collingsworth Family

 

 

#tatting #ham #Easter #trustingJesus #giving #regretting #forgiveness #joy

 

*name changed

 

Photo Credit: tatted items, Hampshires

                      ham, istockphoto.com

                      Marion, used with permission

Who Loves You Best?

          Back when our youngest child was the lone one heading off to school in the mornings, we read Bible devotions with him—just as we had with his siblings. Even when the others were still living at home, Min fell chronologically and mentally below their level of understanding, so he had a separate devotional time since his bus came later. Min enjoyed that attention.

          At some point we let our son choose which devotional book he wanted us to read to him. He (with his incredibly short attention span) liked books with a brief Bible story that included questions at the end, which happened to be ones he requested repeatedly.

          Sometimes I gave clues so Min could get some correct answers, which always made him sit a little taller and wear a grin.

          One particular morning we read a story about God’s love. The last question was “Who loves you best?”

          Min exclaimed, “Mom and Dad!”

          “We do love you, but Someone loves you even more than we do,” I said.

          He looked astonished yet perplexed.

          “How about taking another guess.”

          Min put his pointer finger to his cheek, as he often did when think-think-thinking and answered, “Grandma?”

          “Oh, Grandma loves you a lot, but Someone else loves you even more than Grandma.”

          Min’s shoulders dropped a bit. “I don’t know.”

          “How ’bout I give you a clue,” I said.

          He looked my way and nodded.

          “Okay. Listen carefully. The answer is spelled…”

          Min jumped up. “I’m a good speller!”

          “Yes, you are,” I replied helping him back into his chair, “so here’s the clue to Who loves you the best. It’s spelled like this…” I slowed as I said each letter. “G-O-D.”

          He jumped up again, his hands shot into the air, and he shouted with gusto, “The dog!”

          “Oh my!” I said attempting to gain some composure. “Yes, the dog does love you.” I again helped Min take his seat and rubbed his back, which always helped him settle. “But God loves you a kazillion times more than anyone or anything else.”

          Min smiled so big.

          We prayed and thanked God for loving him so very much—even more than Dad, Mom, Grandma…

          …and the dog. Then he ran out of the room to brush his teeth, grabbed his backpack and lunch, and headed outside to wait for his bus—our dog always at his side.

          Too this day, Brian and I smile when we recall this memory. Yet I’ve also thought about our son’s very real connection to animals and the animals’ affinity to him. Also, “man’s best friend” where I particularly see correlations between the dog and God.

          Now, don’t go ballistic on me and claim I said God is the same as our dog. No way! No how! I mean no disrespect to God. I revere Him above all, but think about it. On an earthly scale, aren’t dogs a great example of unconditional love?

          Parents, family, and friends can be, but they aren’t always. Yet the family dog greets you like you’re royalty every time it sees you, shows you affection, and remains loyal and true.

          God’s love is unconditional. I cannot compare His amount of love with anything on earth—only use this tiny example of one of His creations. Our dog, however, didn’t lay down her life and die for us. Only Jesus, God the Son, did that, then rose again—proving He is our Living, Loving God. That’s how He made the way possible for us to have our sins forgiven so we could be with Him for eternity.

          That is the desire of His heart. That’s the depth of His love and why He left Heaven.

          For you. For me.

          So, Who loves you best?

          I’ll give you a clue. This is how you spell the answer: G-O-D!

The Love of God

The love of God is greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell;

It goes beyond the highest star, and reaches to the lowest hell.

The wand’ring child is reconciled by God’s beloved Son.

The aching soul again made whole, and priceless pardon won.

 

Refrain: O love of God, how rich and pure! How measureless and strong!

It shall forevermore endure—the saints’ and angels’ song.

 

When ancient time shall pass away, and human thrones and kingdoms fall;

When those who here refuse to pray on rocks and hills and mountains call;

God’s love so sure, shall still endure, all measureless and strong;

Grace will resound the whole earth round—the saint’s and angel’s song. (Refrain)

 

Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made;

Were ev’ry stalk on earth a quill, and ev’ryone a scribe by trade;

To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry;

Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky. (Refrain)

 

(from the hymn, The Love of God by Frederick M. Lehman. 1917, public domain)

 

#dyslexia #developmentaldisability #ADHD

#familydevotions #dog #unconditionallove #loveofGod

 

Photo credit: Pixabay