Devotion

          This week is our wedding anniversary. Forty-seven years ago, we made promises to each other—to love, cherish and more. The preacher who married us included that we pledge our abiding devotion.

          And we did.

          I’ve thought a lot about that part of our commitment—the abiding devotion part, and I’m brought back to the times in our marriage that were good but also the struggles. Marriage—the good, solid kind—is hard work, and that’s where abiding devotion comes into play. That commitment to be one before God no matter what happens.

          No. Matter. What.

          So, because my husband was committed to me and I to him, we weathered storms and came out the other side still thanking God for bringing us together. Why? Because I can’t imagine having done these forty-seven years alone. Not without Brian and certainly not without the Lord.

          Some of our anniversaries have found us in strange places. One even separated us by several countries’ borders. And this year, after an over-flowing year of medical challenges, we’ll “celebrate” in a surgeon’s office far from home.

          Because we’ve had some “very interesting” anniversaries, this one didn’t seem particularly odd. We’ve always managed to plan a dinner out or have a special dessert at another time. I guess we could have thought, Why don’t we get a break? We could have thought that. We might have.

          Then this happened...

          We received a wedding invitation from a girl we’ve known since she was born and her fiancé who we’ve gotten to know by mail. You see, Naomi and Nick* were engaged several years ago, but…

          …something happened. Prior to their engagement, Nick took a wrong turn and found himself sentenced to a penitentiary. This is where I came into Nick’s story because Naomi shared about him, their being apart, and how hard life was now that he was incarcerated.

          I offered to write to Nick. That’s how we “got acquainted”—through our once-in-a-while exchange of letters. What I learned from Nick’s letters? He was full of information, very smart and interesting, sociable, and so in love with Naomi who wrote to him every day. He also was clinging to the Lord and hanging tight to his faith, despite the opposition behind bars.

          So, when we received Nick and Naomi’s wedding invitation, we rejoiced that the groom was now free and ready to start a new life. But…

          …then I read their invitation aloud to Brian:

“With joy in our hearts, we are excited to announce

our upcoming wedding…It won’t be a typical wedding—

no bouquet toss, no dance floor, no cake. Just heartfelt vows,

faithful commitment, and a lot of love.

Because we can only have four witnesses present,

we’re asking the rest of our family and friends to celebrate with us

in spirit on our wedding day. Pray for us…

After a long engagement, we’re thrilled to be joined in marriage,

even at the prison. Thank you for walking beside us the last seven years.

God’s faithfulness has carried us every step of the way:

through separation, struggle, and the long refining road of grace.

This marriage is a testimony to His mercy, redemption,

and the love that holds all things together.”

“I have found the one whom my soul loves.” Song of Solomon 3:4

…and to say I got through without totally choking and flooding with tears? Impossible. But here’s what struck me, and I shared this with Brian.

          “This is what marriage is all about.”

          I’m not sure our abiding devotion holds a candle to Naomi and Nick’s, even though our marriage went through so much that psychologists would’ve given us a 0% chance of survival.

          Nick and Naomi. Already a long-lived relationship while a bride-to-be sacrificed years of her life for the one she knew was God’s man for her. Waiting. Separated by distance, locks, and prison bars.

          Devotion.

          Then we took our developmentally disabled son for his annual oncology appointment. We sat waiting for some time between two appointments—one for labs and the other to see the doctor. So, we saw people come and go—all of them with their own difficult stories.

          Then this happened…

          A couple stepped out of the elevator, she shuffling and holding onto her husband’s arm. They sat facing us. The wife immediately sprawled across the couch-like seat, laid her head on her husband’s lap, and closed her eyes.

          No doubt which was the patient to be seen that day.

          The husband gently stroked her arm, kissed the palm of his other hand, and placed it on her head for a moment. He looked toward her closed eyes, dosed off, and awoke to make sure his bride was as comfortable as possible—again stroking her arm. Repeatedly. Tenderly.

          Both weary. Both sharing the burden.

          We didn’t wonder if this couple loved one another. Not for a second. What we witnessed?

          Devotion.

          And, again I turned to Brian, eyes filled with tears and voice quivering. “That’s what marriage is all about.”

          He nodded.

          I’ve learned lessons this year. From Nick and Naomi. From a couple whose names we don’t know, and from reflecting back on the day we took our vows and, amongst the other things, pledged…

          Abiding devotion.

          The following hymn—loved by so very many—may sound like a groom writing to his bride, but Rev. Matheson had no bride. He wrote it on the eve of his sister’s marriage—the one who’d helped him through his years of blindness.

          That evening Rev. Matheson fell into deep melancholy. Whether because of losing his sister as a loving aide or thinking back to when he was much younger or both.

          You see, the reverend, who’d struggled with his eyesight all his years, once was engaged to be married. His eyes had worsened to the point he was told he’d become blind. When he shared this news with his intended, she broke their engagement because she was quite sure she couldn’t cope with a blind husband.

          About penning the words to this hymn, Rev. Matheson said, “Something happened to me…which caused me the most severe mental suffering. The hymn was the fruit of that suffering…I had the impression rather of having it dictated to me by some inward voice…this came like a dayspring from on high…”

O Love that Will Not Let Me Go

 

Bill & Gloria Gaither - O Love That Will Not Let Me Go [Live] ft. Gaither Vocal Band

 

O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe, that in thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.

 

O Light that follows all my way, I yield my flick’ring torch to thee,

My heart restores its borrowed ray, that in thy sunshine’s blaze its day

May brighter, fairer be.

 

O Joy that seekest me thru’ pain, I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow thru’ the rain and feel the promise is not vain

That morn shall tearless be.

 

O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee;

I lay in dust life’s glory dead, and from the ground there blossoms red

Like that shall endless be.

 

(from the original hymn, O Love that Wilt Not Let Me Go, by George Matheson, 1882, public domain)

#devotion #marriage #anniversary #prison #cancer #lifestruggles #commitment #vows

 

*Thank you, Nick & Naomi, for permission to include your love story. You are a blessing!